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Bishop

What The Frick? Seriously?


 
Hydrogen Peroxide Molecule
The Hydrogen Peroxide (H2O2) molicule 

"What the frick? Seriously?"  

a short story by Bishop

That's what I said to the checkout-lady at the grocery store this afternoon when I tried buying hydrogen peroxide.  

Things were going smooth at first.  I had a cart that didn't have a crooked, jank-ass, wheel.  I wasn't solicited by any other vendors on the way in.  The line was suprisingly short, and the attendent seemed conversational.  

"Come on, women ... get that check processed" was going through my mind at the checkout line. "What's that smell?"  Ugh.  

I'm ready to the get through the line and on with my day.  All I had was a couple items like milk, some bread and some hydrogen peroxide.  If there was anything I learned from scouts, it's to always to be prepared, right?  

Well, as the peroxide gets scanned, the computer raised a red flag.  It may as well have just set off a fire alarm and activated the damned sprinklers because it was just as flippin' dramatic.  

DANGER: Hydrogen Peroxide poster
That unmistakable brown bottle

The attendent was just as surprised as I was.  At first I thought she would look at me, and the face of "you've gotta be kidding me" clearly being displayed, and bypass the system with her b-day like any other sensible clerk would do.  Nope!  She requested my ID anyways. 

I should have refused.  I should have made a huge friggin' deal and asked where is the law that states I have to show ID to purchase a legal and hygenic staple.  Get your manager to show me the store's policy! 

But I didn't.  I simply was made some sarcastic smirks and handed over my ID.

"You know, I've also gotten carded for buying magic markers," I said. 

"Yeah, I think they just don't want anyone to do anything bad with this ... like make something," she replies.

I looked at her and around the store and said I could make a ton of really bad things with the stuff at this store.  Whey not just card me for all that stuff?

"Do you card for condoms?"

She said she doesn't think so.  Nor do they card for prego-tests, she said.  

Strange.  

Anyways.  The point is ... hydrogen peroxide now joins the list of other terror implements, like magic markers, super-glue, drano, and spray paint.  And quite frankly, I thinks it's absolute busch-league-psych-out-stuff.  Serisouly.  What the frick?

[Disclaimer: above and beyond all of this, card for alcohol and smokes ... I just know to have my ID ready when making those purchases ... kids, don't smoke!  and convenience store clerks ... don't be a scumbag ... card the hell outta those kids!]. 

 

 

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